23 October 2008

What's Shakin' Bacon?

Almost two months ago, there was this big happening called a Republican National Convention. Yeah, I didn't know about it either (sarcastic, much?). And did you know it was held in Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota? Don't ya know? And I remember hearing about a bunch of reporters from various cable news outlets taking in the Minnesota State Fair during said convention. And from what I understand, Minnesotans will eat almost anything fried or coated in chocolate or both. And what was the thang being munched with much gusto?

Chocolate-covered bacon.

So then Adam Heath Avitable, with his candy fetish, went all wuss and tried out a chocolate-bacon candy bar. He? Was not impressed. That's because I think he did it all wrong. If you're going to eat chocolate-covered bacon, you need to eat the bacon fresh outta da frying pan. And the chocolate needs to be dark, gooey, and warm. None of this hard, cold candy bar crap.

Enter the following photo essay*:


It's all about center-cut bacon, baby. Yum!


And if you're going to dip center-cut bacon into chocolate, then it needs to be dark chocolate fondue from the Melting Pot.


The Ty-man was unconvinced that this was a good idea. But, as he pointed out to me, not only can he bring home the bacon, but he can also fry it up in a pan, and still remind me on a daily basis that he is, indeed, a man.**


The dark-chocolate fondue is gooey and ready to go! Doesn't this just scream "BACON!"


Let the dipping begin, people! (Pay no attention to my nasty hair. Stop it! I said pay no attention!)


I know what you're thinking. "Is she constipated? Is she cutting a big one? Is she going to barf? WHAT?!?" What's happening is that I'm reconciling the salty, meaty, slightly-burnt goodness of the bacon with the sweet, gooey goodness of the chocolate. People? Hershey's and Mars need to market this as an impulse-candy-buy that you nuke before eating so that it's warm when it hits your tongue. Because this? Was the pork-y, sweet, chocolate-y, salty equivalent of crack. I'm sure of it!


The Ty-man finally gave in and tried some. His verdict? "Yep. That tastes like chocolate-covered bacon." Well, no shit Sherlock. But it's AWESOME! RIGHT?!? My husband, the king of understatement.


So the verdict from our maison? Two thumbs up, baby.*** Git sum!

*Thought about doing a video, but I hate my voice. Sorry peeps.
**Yes, folks, he did say that. And told me to tell you all. I love my dorky hubby.
***That's one thumb from me and one from Ty-man. He was taking the picture and couldn't hold up his thumb. And I? Was holding my fourth piece of chocolate-covered crack. I wasn't about to drop it for a second thumb-up.

25 comments:

HEATHER said...

I may have to give this a try.
Have you had a deep fried snicker yet? Another "fair food" treat that makes you think gross, but ohsogood!

A Free Man said...

Yeah, sure, why the hell not.

Functionally ReTodded said...

Dood. Have I not told you about my day at the Gwinnett County Fair where my nephew and I agreed that we would only eat 2 things:

Things served on a stick.
If not on a stick, the item MUST be fried.

Hence the giant chicken finger, the fried snickers, fried oreos, etc. YUMMY.

p.s. I'm sure it's coincidence that I had to have emergency bypass surgery a scant two months later...

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

OK, can't help myself...

He's the man bringing home and frying up the bacon...BUT I must take away his man card. Why you ask?!

Because he's doing it in a kitchen with purple flowered wall paper and purple dinner plates!!!!

I'm not knocking it. Actually like it. But I could never get my husband to agree to purple in a common living space. Maybe my daughter's bedroom, but definitely not the kitchen.

Avitable said...

Awesome! I wish you had video of you eating it, though, so I can trust you that it tasted good.

RiverPoet said...

Ew. I think I'll pass on this. I'm not much into that kind of stuff these days. A cardiac cath will do that to ya!

Peace - D

Tuli said...

I've got Dove Dark Chocolate squares on my kitchen counter. I'm going to the store for bacon and giving this a try!

kaila said...

Chocolate covered bacon is indeed an equivilant to crack. We did this same experiment last year. Sheer awesomeness.

NATUI said...

I've never tried it, but if I were at the MN state fair I'd def give it a go. I can't eat something like that in my kitchen. I need to be surrounded by mid-Westerners, peanut shells crunching underfoot with a whiff of horse shit in the air. Ah, brings back childhood memories.

sybil law said...

As cute as you look, I think I am still gonna pass on the chocobacon. Ick!

Rake said...

That's alright - I'm full.

Employee No. 3699 said...

Twist my arm, I'll have to try it. I always have bacon at home. Now I need to get some chocolate to melt. Wait! I have bags upon bags of Halloween candy in the pantry. Going to have to make this when I get home. If I get sick, you're calling in for me tomorrow!

Miss Britt said...

so, so wrong. Still.

metalmom said...

Catching up with my reading, I was only going to skim your post but I saw the pictures and you roped me in.....OH MY JEEBUS!!

Bacon? yeah? I mean I'm all about the dark chocolate....but you described the salty bacon and....

HEY HUBS!! GO TO THE STORE AND BUY ME SOME BACON!!!......YES! AND SOME CHOCOLATE!! DARK CHOCOLATE!!......

Fantastagirl said...

I've tried the chocolate bacon bar thingy that Adam tried and have to say - it was gross - and I LOVE Chocolate. The kids like it, me not so much.

Thinking that maybe fresh is the way to go, but I don't want to waste any chocolate.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Other Heather - Oh, heck yeah. Those deep-fried Snickers are to die!

A Free Man - Ha! Ha! A convert!

Functionally ReTodded - Ew, yeah. That'll do it.

MommyCosm - Purple grapes, m'dear. And? He's adjusted. He likes the purple. I think...

Avitable - Wha? Do I look like George Bush? Wait. Don't answer that...

RiverPoet - That's cool.

Tuli - Woo hoo! Enjoy it!

Kaila - Glad I'm not the only one.

NATUI - That's true. Horse and cow shit do add a certain ambiance.

Sybil Law - Chocobacon! I love it! Must trademark that...

Rake - No, seriously. Give it a try!

Employee No. 3699 - You're not going to get sick, but let me know how you like it!

Britt - Oh. Adam and I will turn you to the dark side. We will. Mwha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

MetalMom - Woo hoo! Hope you like it!

Fantastagirl - Yeah, I think fresh is best. This is a dish best served warm. And greasy.

Molly's Mom said...

Hmm. As fond as I am of the fair foods, I will probably pass on this. And not mention to husband, b/c I can see him trying it.

However, when you mention fried and fair food...fried pickles? Yum. Fried Twinkies? Yum.

Dammit. Now I'm hungry.

SSG said...

man, i love bacon and maple syrup, and I love chocolate, and I love sweet and salty things together like those rice crackers from japan covered in sugar. So i will HAVE to try this, or maybe i'll just dip pringles in the choc, easier than frying bacon...

Jenn said...

OH. MY. GAWD!!! Genius! I need to try this NOW!

Gypsy said...

That sounds so wrong it must be right.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Molly's Mom - Fried Snickers are the best.

SSG - Oooohhh. Pringles in chocolate. That sounds yummy!

Jenn - Yes, hon. Yes you do. :)

Gypsy - Oh, you know it is!

Denise said...

Wow. I do dig on swine. And as a woman it is an imperative that I love chocolate (dark chocolate is my favorite - no puns!). But, dude, chocolate covered bacon. I need some time to wrap my brain around that.

BTW, loved Ty-man's comment reminds me of, "wherever you go, there you are." Smooth Ty-man, smooth.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Denise - Wrap it, girl! You'll love it, I promise. And dark chocolate pun? I thought we established you were more of a mocha. :) Don't smack me!

Turnbaby said...

Mmmmmmmmm bacon and dark chocolate---what's not to love???

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Turnbaby - Exactly!