What's Shakin' Bacon?

Almost two months ago, there was this big happening called a Republican National Convention. Yeah, I didn't know about it either (sarcastic, much?). And did you know it was held in Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota? Don't ya know? And I remember hearing about a bunch of reporters from various cable news outlets taking in the Minnesota State Fair during said convention. And from what I understand, Minnesotans will eat almost anything fried or coated in chocolate or both. And what was the thang being munched with much gusto?

Chocolate-covered bacon.

So then Adam Heath Avitable, with his candy fetish, went all wuss and tried out a chocolate-bacon candy bar. He? Was not impressed. That's because I think he did it all wrong. If you're going to eat chocolate-covered bacon, you need to eat the bacon fresh outta da frying pan. And the chocolate needs to be dark, gooey, and warm. None of this hard, cold candy bar crap.

Enter the following photo essay*:


It's all about center-cut bacon, baby. Yum!


And if you're going to dip center-cut bacon into chocolate, then it needs to be dark chocolate fondue from the Melting Pot.


The Ty-man was unconvinced that this was a good idea. But, as he pointed out to me, not only can he bring home the bacon, but he can also fry it up in a pan, and still remind me on a daily basis that he is, indeed, a man.**


The dark-chocolate fondue is gooey and ready to go! Doesn't this just scream "BACON!"


Let the dipping begin, people! (Pay no attention to my nasty hair. Stop it! I said pay no attention!)


I know what you're thinking. "Is she constipated? Is she cutting a big one? Is she going to barf? WHAT?!?" What's happening is that I'm reconciling the salty, meaty, slightly-burnt goodness of the bacon with the sweet, gooey goodness of the chocolate. People? Hershey's and Mars need to market this as an impulse-candy-buy that you nuke before eating so that it's warm when it hits your tongue. Because this? Was the pork-y, sweet, chocolate-y, salty equivalent of crack. I'm sure of it!


The Ty-man finally gave in and tried some. His verdict? "Yep. That tastes like chocolate-covered bacon." Well, no shit Sherlock. But it's AWESOME! RIGHT?!? My husband, the king of understatement.


So the verdict from our maison? Two thumbs up, baby.*** Git sum!

*Thought about doing a video, but I hate my voice. Sorry peeps.
**Yes, folks, he did say that. And told me to tell you all. I love my dorky hubby.
***That's one thumb from me and one from Ty-man. He was taking the picture and couldn't hold up his thumb. And I? Was holding my fourth piece of chocolate-covered crack. I wasn't about to drop it for a second thumb-up.