13 November 2008

Anxiety

You know the dreams that make you wake up from a dead-sleep in a cold sweat? The dreams that leave you momentarily confused until you realize what day, month, and year it actually is? First, there's the OMFG! I'm in high school again! And I'm walking down the hall! And I'm naked! And everyone is laughing! And then, there's the classic Holy crap! I was signed up for Physics 101! And I missed class! For the entire semester! And now I have to take the final! I haven't studied! And the campus has changed! How will I find my way?

Of course, my twisted little brain has concocted two anxiety dreams that always leave me scratching my head. Many nights I'll get the I have to pee! And I'm in the mall! And the only toilet is in the middle of Macy's! With people watching! And my other fave is I'm in a hurry! I have to put in my contact lenses! Holy crap! This lens is the size of my head! How will that fit in my eye?!?

But for last 18 months, since J-man's birth, I've been having the same dream, over and over. And it freaks me the hell out. It's the Oh sweet baby Jesus! I've missed my period! And this pregnancy test says I'm pregnant! AGAIN! What am I going to do with a fourth kid?!?

Yeah. For those of you who don't know, J-man was a surprise. A surprise of the "We don't need to stinkin' birth control because it took a doctor, two nurses, a phlebotomist, several lab technicians, vials of hormones, and a tube full of sperm to get us knocked up with the twins!" kind. So, no matter how careful I am with my oral contraceptives, coupled with the condoms, coupled with Dude, seriously? Even with the pills? I could be ovulating right now so BACK OFF! I still worry about a third pregnancy/fourth kid. Don't get me wrong. I love my J-man. He was the surprise I didn't know I wanted but am so glad I got. But I'm done with surprises.

I'm also done with restless nights. One of us needs to get neutered/spayed before I lose my mind.

18 comments:

HEATHER said...

I hate the nekkid high school dreams!

A Free Man said...

My anxiety dreams these days are usually that Zach's crying and I have to drag my ass out of bed and deal with him. And then I wake up and he is. And then I make Sinead get up and I go back to sleep.

Bucky said...

Funny you should mention that. I am due to get a Vasectomy in December. I can hardly wait to blog about it. :/

Avitable said...

Doesn't Ty have a birthday coming up? What better gift than a surprise vasectomy?

:)

RiverPoet said...

I'm with Avitable on this! :-) That's hilarious...

My hubby was and is too freaked out by all things medical that I had to take the plunge and have my tubes tied. (Then later, I ended up having a hysterectomy anyway). I've had 7 - count 'em - 7 surgeries! He's had a minor, tiny hernia repair that didn't even require general anesthesia! No fair!!!

I hope you make the decision to make the birth control permanent soon. It really does create a whole new peace of mind.

Peace - D

Willie G said...

I too had a little surprise come along... 12 freaking years after we thought we were done. You can never be sure until that problem is fixed!!

Employee No. 3699 said...

Start singing "Snip it. Snip it good." to the tune of Whip it by Devo to Ty-man. It worked for me.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

There is nothing scarier than the post-fertility treatment OMG what if I'm pregnant scare. Sorry you've been so stressed!

Teri said...

Yeah. You don't need Freud or Jung to analyze that dream! Let me know if either of you need a ride to the Vet. :-)

Jackie S. Quire said...

Okay, how's this for ultra stress. Four weeks late, multiple negative pregnancy tests, 2 blood tests, and still no idea what's going on with my reproductive system.
I might just lose it.

Jackie S. Quire said...

In other words... I feel your pain.

Giggle Pixie said...

I'm voting for him being neutered. :-)

But seriously, I've had my tubes tied (in my case it was medical reasons that strongly recommended no more pregnancies) and it wasn't a big thing.

It'd probably be worth it - think of all the money you'd save on contraception! Ha!

kaila said...

Baaaaad dream - and I only have on kid. I vote for the snip.
My recurring dreams always involve my animals and bridges/water.

sybil law said...

Oh yes - I know what you mean.
Snip snip!
:D

Trukindog said...

I think everyone should get fixed. :)

Gypsy said...

Oh god, that damn missed class one. Watch. I'll have it tonight. And be traumatized tomorrow.

Good luck with staying alien life form-free!

Turnbaby said...

It makes the fun stuff that much more fun sugar.

Vonda said...

Heather, you can tell I'm behind on your blog and just to think I asked you tonight if y'all were gonna have another one? Yikes!