Dear Homeowner Serfs,
This is your HOA Empress speaking. According to our By-Laws, I'm supposed to allow you pitiful nothings an annual meeting where you get to vote in new figurehead board members and approve a budget.
Yeah. Whatever. A budget. SNORT! The budget may say that we're using your money to pay for landscaping and pool maintenance. But actually? I'll be parking a Chevy Corvette in my garage and putting a down payment on my vacation home in Bonaire.
The only problem is that I need a quorum of homeowners to vote on this nonsense and you idiots? Aren't giving me said quorum. That little slip of paper? That you found in your mailbox last week? That says "Aw, shucks! I can't make it to the meeting! Just let Empress Heather vote on my behalf because she's just swell!" You must sign your name to it (or an X, you uneducated buffoons) and hand it over and don't even bother coming to the meeting. I'll approve the Bonaire/Corvette budget and vote my three best friends in the director positions. Even though said friends don't live here. But I don't care. Because I'm the HOA Empress.
So, just stay at home, eat your gruel, and live in fear. After all, isn't that how dictatorships work?
Her Imperial Highness Heather