08 January 2009

Trial By Fire

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

Remember? A few weeks ago? How I told you all about my Madame Secretary gig?

Well, our first meeting was last night.

THREE. HOURS. LATER. And I have learned one thing.

That I wanted to plant my Dr. Martens up on the table, knock four heads together, and scream, "OH MY GAWD! Could you people just agree on one thing?!? No?!? Well, then, in that case I elect myself Empress of this here homeowners' association. I hereby disband you miscreants. You will do as I say and there will be NO WHINING!"

And then I wanted to firebomb the rest of my neighborhood.

But, I instead made a few valid, adult points, keeping my Air Waves under the table, promptly hurried home, and sat in the tub for an hour.

The lesson learned from all of this is that if you're a masochist, then by all means, join your HOA board. If not? Run away. Run far, far, far away.

I wish I had.

10 comments:

HEATHER said...

I'm all for declaring yourself Empress. I keep telling ya, today the HOA, tomorrow the World!

Avitable said...

You should totally engineer a coup.

Tuli said...

In general, I'm not a fan of HOAs. (I don't belong to one and I have no desire to ever live in a neighborhood that has one.) But I can understand your pain! I've had classes that were 3 hours long and OMG so painful. So so painful.

DutchBitch said...

Ahhh gotta love meetings with adults...

Violet the Verbose said...

Eee gads. My bro is on his HOA and rues the day he optomistically decided he could make a difference from the inside. I remember fighting our first HOA to let me keep my pottery wheel on the back porch. (Lip curling into a snarl at the memory...)

Best of luck to you. I'm with Avitable - maybe you could start by finding like-minded people in the neighborhood and getting them to come to the meetings and totally change the whole tone of the three hours. Oooh - how about instead of coffee, serve shots! LOL

A Free Man said...

Gosh, who would have predicted that would happen.

;)

mentallyrehearsed said...

Sounds miserable. What on earth takes 3 hours to decide?

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

LOL!!
Yeah, that's why I chose to NOT get involved. Not gonna do it. Our meetings are very similar.

Patois said...

HOA, PTA, no diff. I say you go for Empress. I think you'd look pretty in a flowing purple gown.

Giggle Pixie said...

This is why I would never accept a post in any organization. Been there, done that, had the nervous breakdown. LOL