I hate solicitors. I'm too much of a wuss to say no to the college student selling newspaper subscriptions even though I loathe the local newspaper. And when the handyman ringing my doorbell looks like a serial killer? I still let him clean out my gutters for a ridiculous price. Of course, when the young Mormon missionaries visit, I just want to sit them down to a pot of coffee and to some Skinemax, even when I know the Jesus talk will inevitably follow.
And when they all leave, I'm bitter about the whole process. I'm pissed that I've just bought six months of the AJC that I'll never read. I'm irritated that those Jehovah's Witnesses just gave me a copy of The Watchtower that I'll throw away. And I've rolled my eyes at the handymurderer so many times that he's bound to come back at 2AM and set fire to my cats. I hate being mean to people. And I hate confrontation. And I can't stand having my doorbell rung when I'm in the middle of a diaper change.
So? I went the passive-aggressive route. Observe:
Yep. This sign hangs outside my door. And believe it or not? It works. I've seen people walk up to my door, clipboard in hand, pamphlets in pocket, reach for my doorbell, pause, then walk away. Quickly.
Please, feel free to copy it and hang it next to your door and watch the solicitations disappear!
Now, if I could just get rid of those pesky Republican National Committee phone calls...