21 August 2009

Dorks Unite!

Once upon a time, there was a Dork named Heather.


She came from a long line of Dorks. Eastern-European immigrant Dorks, to be exact.


All she wanted was to be an astronaut when she grew up.


Or a Jedi Knight. I mean, what Dork didn't want to be a Jedi?


She also wanted to be on the cover of Vogue. But Vogue had a distinct no-Dork policy. They were obviously Dork-prejudiced.


Instead, Heather became a soldier of fortune fighting against Dork-injustice the world over. But that got boring.


So she quit the soldier gig and got a job with Bernie Madoff stealing from the rich and giving to herself and all the other Dorks.


Unfortunately, this caused her to be vilified by out-on-the-street-broke-ass-seniors all over Florida.


And wanted. But not in a good way.


Thankfully, all the other Dorks still loved her as close Dork families are wont to do.


Eventually, Dorks became the in-crowd. Everybody wanted to be a Dork and Heather was finally rewarded for her hard work in support of Dork-rights.


Even Paris Hilton wanted to be her BFF and work for Heather's Dork charity.


Kiera Knightly couldn't even get a decent job because of Heather.


And all was right with the world because, it was discovered, the world was full of Dorks.

The End.


P.S. Thanks to The Bloggess for the link to PhotoFunia. Kick ass!

18 comments:

Kay said...

Dorks (or geeks) are usually the most fun to hang out with :)
Typical people are boring, and have the tendency to make me feel all inadequate and shit.

HEATHER said...

Love it!

Lynda said...

All dork stories should have happy endings like this one!

Joe said...

HA! I figured you got your hands on a photoshop book or something.

Barbara said...

Made me laugh--and I needed that!

Molly's Mom said...

Hilarious!!

Avitable said...

The dorks shall rule the world.

LceeL said...

Now maybe my sons will realize that calling me "Dork" all the time is actually NOT an insult.

metalmom said...

I love the Kyra/Heather shot!! That was soo freakin' funny!

Alan said...

I thought this was one of your funniest blogs.

Muskrat said...

That tool looks to be more fun than an outdoor preschool class with a box full of firearms!

sybil law said...

I did not get any of that many you pilfered with Madoff.
Dangit!
Still - you are the best dork I've met, so there. :P

marty said...

You're a dork role model for the rest of us common dorks.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

You are way hotter than that Kiera chick.

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

LOL - that was hilarious! Must check out photofunia now.

Kevin said...

You had me fooled- thought you had become a master photoshop arrtist. Thanks for the link, will definitely be playing with that site.

hello haha narf said...

at christmas i used that site to put my company's logo on christmas bulbs. was way cool.

although not as cool as this post. i loved the story telling!

and now i get to go lose a few more hours of my life to that site seeing as how they seem to have a few new images to play with. thanks...

Patois said...

I LOVE PhotoFunia. What a fabulous, albeit dorky, storied history you have.