So. OK. Here goes...
I'm a big, fat, gigantic, colossal prude. A goody-goody. I'm totally vanilla in my sexual tastes. Seriously. I've only ever had sex of any kind with the Ty-man and I'm not big into going outside basic sexual boundaries. We don't use toys, we aren't terribly experimental, and we don't go hog-wild in the sex game. Let's face it, I'm boring in the bedroom and I'm obviously not getting any better. And you know what they say about marriages. You're with the same person for the rest of your life and that means you've got to keep it interesting or lose interest. And lately? After 14 years of marriage? I realize I'm really not making this interesting for the Ty-man or myself. I've realized that it's time to step it up, but I'm taking baby steps, here. No swings hanging from the ceiling.
Said baby steps have come in the form of Drew with Eden Fantasys. Yep. Eden Fantasys is an on-line store for all your sexual needs. And I met Drew at BlogHer. And he told me he had read this here blog and liked it (Me?!? You've read my wacky shit? And you didn't run away? Wow.). And he said he wanted me to become a product reviewer for them.
Me. Princess Prude. Doing product reviews for an on-line sex store. And Eden Fantasys is a really nice on-line sex store as opposed those sex stores we've all ventured into. You know the ones. Some sleazy 24-hour shop that hasn't been cleaned in years, with marijuana pipes in the glass cases in the front and some weird, quiet guy in the back looking at all the "HOT ANAL SEX WITH LADIES WITH BIG JUGS!" videos who then quickly scurries over to the "COUPLES" section when he sees you see him. Meanwhile, you notice those curtained-off areas in the back faintly smelling of Windex and God-knows-what-else, all while you're wondering Will that piña colada massage oil make me gag? Then, the creepy guy behind the register offers you a free cock ring with the purchase of your bachelorette party massage oils and all you want to do is shove said ring up his nose and run like hell. Yeah. Seriously. Eden Fantasys is nothing like those places. Go check them out. Now. I'll wait.
Isn't it nice? Pretty pink vibrators! Seriously! Don't you just want to buy one for your mom, mom-in-law, grandmothers, and all your aunts? I mean, they're just so... pretty! They could be pieces of art on the coffee table, for cripes sake. And look at this! It's the SaSi. It's purple! It matches my blog and my kitchen. OMG!
So, what I'm trying to tell you is that, for the first time ever on this blog, I will be doing reviews for products related to the most basic of human functions. Come on. We all need sex, it's what makes the world go 'round, it's why we exist. We are all sexual beings, no matter how repressed we may or may not be. So for now, I'm keeping my reviews to the book/couples section, products that will hopefully help Ty-man and I in our sex lives, products that may help all of you with your sex lives. Maybe, hopefully, these products will take my sexual proclivities from vanilla to vanilla with chocolate sprinkles.
I'll have my first review up in a couple of days!
Don't forget to check out Friday's post and answer the Star Wars trivia questions to win a Georgia swag bag in honor of my second blogiversary! Get your comments in by 11:59 PM tonight and I'll let you know who the winner is tomorrow!