23 September 2009

Behemoth

Our nine-year-old GE Profile refrigerator started it's long, slow walk toward its ultimate demise earlier this month. It all began with mushy chicken tenders from the freezer and ended with a room-temperature jug of milk just after Labor Day weekend. We shook our heads, emptied its shelves, and turned it off, planning its replacement from amongst the stunning collection at our local Lowe's. It sat forlorn and empty, devoid of everything except its collection of magnets and children's artwork. It was a simple fridge, nothing special. It cooled and froze. It dealt with having its two doors slammed, milk spilled, and vegetables spoiled. It held it all and took it all and one day, two weeks ago, decided it had had enough and left this world for...

Oh, Christ, who'm I kidding? It was a frakking refrigerator and we were giddy to have the chance to upgrade. Observe:


Samsung. 29 cubic feet. Let me say that again. Twenty. nine. cubic. feet. of storage. For milk. Frozen pizzas. Yogurt. CDC biological experiments that will someday cure cancer/HIV/the common cold/reality TV and not at all resembling liquid lettuce. Twenty-nine cubic feet of glory. Plus? Check out the numbered red circles:

1. Albert Einstein. Physicist. Genius. Fridge God.

2. Miss Britt people. Miss frakking Britt! On my fridge! Giving me the stink-eye every time I reach in for the left over Girl Scout cookies/birthday cake/ice cream. She's a goddess.

3. My bare feet. Don't stare too long or you might run screaming.

And remember that saying idle hands are the devil's workshop? Yeah. How 'bout A blank fridge is Satan's food storage. I believe that a lack of magnets is the work of Beelzebub.

The best part about the 29-cubic-feet of awesomeness now squatting in my kitchen?

The light. On the inside. It's not just white, it's like bluish-white. A heavenly salvation-white. And it doesn't just turn on. It's like a fade-on, getting brighter as the doors open. Check it.

video

It's the fridge built by Greys. And it's all mine. Quit drooling.

19 comments:

Molly's Mom said...

Dang. We wouldn't even be able to get a fridge that big in the space we have...stupid builders put the cupboards just a wee bit too low for any of the big'uns.

Enjoy the behemoth!

Joe said...

Heh... your second toe is longer than your big toe. Wait. What? We're talking about a fridge?

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

So, according to my calculations, I have about 4 more years left with my fridge?

Green with envy.

Oh, and Joe: the whole second toe bigger than big toe thing? A sign of intelligence. Or royal blood. Or so I've been told by people trying to make me feel better about my own big second toes.

Joe said...

LOL. No worries, I suffer from the same "long second toe" affliction. Maybe we should start a club. The Royal Toes Club. I like it.

Avitable said...

See, I always see Britt's magnet as smiling down on me, encouraging me to eat ice cream.

LceeL said...

I have a Coal Miner's Daughter magnet on the lamp shade next to the bed.. LM (Love Muffin) made me move it to the OTHER SIDE of the lamp shade - the side AWAY from the bed. Sorry.

Patois said...

I would have to bow and worship to such a glow as that.

LeSombre said...

I have fridge envy. Wow.

Tuli said...

Light that pretty would make me forget why I opened the fridge in the first place. There I'd be found, hours later, drooling and muttering about aliens keeping my cheese fresher longer.

I want a fridge like that - but compact enough to fit UNDER my kitchen counter.

sybil law said...

If it's wrong for me to be envious of your fridge, I don't wanna be right!

HEATHER said...

Kewl!

metalmom said...

LOL, I too, see Miss Britt! She's such a cutie patooty!

Your new beauty of a fridge makes me want to touch myself.

hello haha narf said...

totally coveting your new frigid air. gorgeous! (yes, a fridge can be gorgeous.)
also? i collect magnets and have one with the same exact picture of of my boyfriend bert. (you have to call him "albert einstein" because clearly you don't know him like i know him.)

Not Afraid to Use It said...

That is almost identical to the one Hubbie's parents have in Sweden. He is going to be so jealous.

Bucky said...

Holy Icebox, Batman!

Muskrat said...

I have Britt on my frig, too. She's always telling me to read her blog and my other friends' blogs and that I should stop working so late. I like to get back at her by rubbing her black and white picture on my balls.

Vonda said...

Now that's a fridge! Yea...now go and stock it up with Blue Bell ice cream! I know you're cringing right now with that statement! ;)

baroness radon said...

Aloha,
We just got the same fridge (but with an inside water dispenser..)!

http://tao61.blogspot.com/2009/08/things-wearing-out-we-recently-had-to.html


Found your blog via Sybil, who reads mine.

Gypsy said...

I'm feeling very covetous.