09 October 2009

Hide and Seek

I keep a pretty low profile. In living my daily life, I don't go out of my way to make new friends*. I keep to myself. I'm happy at home, happy with the friends I have, happy that I can choose to fake a decent amount of French so that I don't have to talk to people I don't know. I mean, I foolishly volunteered for my HOA Board and see where that got me?

It's all about avoidance.

I don't do a lot with the twins' Montessori school. I mean, I donate canned goods, provide snacks when asked, attend parent-teacher conferences, and such. But attend social functions? With parents of the kids who attend said school? No. Nu-uh. Nada. Can't make me. If my kids are friends with those kids? Great. Doesn't mean I have to be friends with their parents. I'm sure they're all nice people, I just don't want to go there. I inevitably say something inappropriate, or they find out I'm a big geek who spends most of her time with her head in the clouds, or they say something that makes me want to choke them and then every time we're in a social situation all I can think about is a slow, painful, bloody death and that's inconvenient when I'm trying to nod my head, smile, and say Yep! Sure! I know just what you mean! That Sarah Palin sure is a corker!

And yet, no matter how much I keep my head down, they still find me.

Take, for example, Annie's mom. Annie's mom lives two miles from us. Annie's mom wants to start carpooling. Annie doesn't need a car seat, so Annie's mom no longer owns any car seats. Our twins are too small to ride in a car without a car seat. Annie goes to school until 2:30 every week day. The twins get out at 12:30. Annie's mom has called me twice. Are you seeing a pattern here? Yeah, me too.

Annie's mom wants us to shuffle Annie. We get no benefit from this since Annie's mom has no car seats and doesn't pick up her kid until later in the day. Either that or Annie's mom is a moron and just cannot see that 1+1=nofrakkingwayi'mdoingthis

How in the hell do these people find me? Do I have Please Rope Me Into Stupid Shit! stamped on my forehead?

Lord, help.

Makes me just want to constantly do this:
*Except for you guys. When it comes to making friends on the Internet? I seem to be pretty savvy at it. You are all awesome and if we could all just screen everybody on the Internet and decide before ever meeting them face-to-face if we like the person's tweets, Crackbook status updates, and political blog choices, the world would be a happier, smile-ier place. Dang nab it.

21 comments:

Molly's Mom said...

Wow, THAT'S nice of her. Usually, things like this are a give-and-take, but she's just...taking. Or trying to. WTF?

Stand your ground!

Teri said...

What a twat.

LceeL said...

You do realize, of course, that they find you because you are such, SUCH, a special person.

And they like you. They really, really, like you. Sally.

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

Um, yeah. Good luck with that one.

I'd give her the good 'ol "I'd really love to, but I have my hands full right now. Maybe when my kids get a little older."

Don't burn the bridge entirely. When the kids are on the same schedule and don't need car seats, she might be able to provide a little more give and less take.

Tuli said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tuli said...

[Let me try this again. I left out a word first time around and my comment made NO sense...]

I can't offer any advice on this one, being a non-child-havin' person.

But damn! Lady needs to quit bein' a taker.

(Lceel cracks me up. Sally. lol!)

Annie said...

Isn't this the way it always works? I, too, have avoided the whole pre-/elem school social scene. I signed up for the soup label and grocery receipt committees. The send me a bag of papers to sort at home, I send it back with the kiddos. No conversation or personal interaction needed. Just my type of thing!

Belle said...

How does that even come out of her mouth without her realizing she's an idiot?! Maybe that was a little harsh. A greedy receiver, and not a selfless giver.

Melio (MelissaInk) said...

If you really want to isolate yourself from Annie's mom ... just bring up that you feel that car seat safety is very important and you are not comfortable driving her child without one (whether this is true or not is irrelevant).

Nothing makes a mom hate you like faulting her. Poof! You never speak again :)

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Yeah.... she's desperate for help or a friend or just isn't all there in her head.

sybil law said...

Annie's mom sounds like a self serving bitch.
I know what you mean - school moms are annoying. i've been lucky to find a few I actually like, but still - I am pretty happy with my life as it is, you know?

HEATHER said...

I'm inclined to think like Ashley-Mommycosm, don't burn the bridge completely. When the kiddoes are all on the same schedule, it could be advantageous for both of you.

Joe said...

Hhaha. Teri said "twat." That's one of my favorite words in the English language, although I don't use it nearly enough.

As a parent of a not-school-age kid. I have no working knowledge of the situation, and I tend to stay away from people in real life anyway. My advice. Don't take her calls, change your numbers, and move to another state.

Patois said...

Imagine her going up in flames. It's all you can do.

Oh, but then you'd probably get custody of the daughter.

Muskrat said...

annie's mom runs a brothel out of her basement. i'm sure of it.

Muskrat said...

annie's mom runs a brothel out of her basement. i'm sure of it.

DutchBitch said...

I think Annie's Mom is related to almost all of the parents in The Kid's class. SIGh... I feel ya

marty said...

Explain that the twins fear her because she reminds them of a scary monster.

Lynda said...

You drive a small car with no room for Annie, though, right?

Geez, some people! That would make me want to tear my hair out too.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Annie needs to piss off. 'Nuff said.

I have to say that I was very glad I took the chance to get to know the mom's in LittleMan's class last year. It has helped immensely when it comes to playdates and co-op switching. I don't know that this year will go as well, but my point is that sometimes people surprise you and you find a diamond in the rough.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Molly's Mom - I honestly don't think she's getting it.

Teri - Totally.

LceeL - Bwhahahahahaha! Norma Rae RAWKED!

MommyCosm - Yeah. I probably shouldn't burn that bridge. I hate it when you're right.

Tuli - Seriously.

Annie - Oooo, I like that gig. I want to sign up for that!

Belle - I'm wondering if she even gets it. Because me, personally, the second I heard "They use car seats" realizing I no longer owned a car seat, then it's not going to work. Yeah.

Melio - Oooo, good idea!

Tracey - Either way? I'm still gonna hide.

Sybil Law - I totally know.

Other Heather - OK. Seriously. You guys are making me feel guilty. :)

Joe - OK. Move to another state. Hawai'i. Definitely.

Patois - GAH!

Muskrat - Don't tease me.

DutchBitch - Wow. Annie's mom is Dutch? ;P

Marty - Hee hee! Perfect for October!

Lynda - Totally. Miata. :P

NATUI - Yeah. People surprise me. But not usually in the way I want them to.