02 October 2009

Open Letter 12

Dear Crackbook:
Please. Stop suggesting friends to me. I get it. If I'm connected to the same 20,000 bloggers who are also friends with Marvin Finklestein in west Tennessee, then OK. Fine. Suggest him. But seriously, quit suggesting that I connect with Scott Jamerson, fellow Black Eagle and the focus of much of my teenage angst, as a Crackbook friend. I didn't like him in high school, so why the hell would I want to exchange pleasantries/pictures/Hey how're yous?!? on the Internet? He was a football player, a "popular" and he beat me out for student body president.

Seriously.

Unless you want my digital foot up your electronic ass, then cease and desist immediately.

Scott Jamerson. You can do better than that. Ppppffffttttthhhhhzzzzz!

Kiss, kiss,
Drum Major Heather


Dear Fellow Subdivision Residents and Property Management Company:
I didn't know any of you assholes prior to this ridiculous HOA Board gig and I can't wait until February when I can ignore all of you again.

Kiss my ass,
Director Heather


Dear Blog Friends Who Are Hurting:
Ladies? I love you all. So damned much.

Hugs and stuff,
Heather


Dear America:
I am rolling my eyes. ROLLING, people! This is just nonsense. All of it. The left, the right, the He said/She said, it all lacks one thing. Common friggin' sense.

Oh, and term limits. That too.

I pledge allegiance to the United States of Whatever,
Heather, Proud citizen since February 6, 1972

12 comments:

HEATHER said...

If you go in your privacy settings on FB you can block Scott Jamerson so you won't see him.
I thought you resigned from the HOA, what gives?

sybil law said...

Awesome letters!

LceeL said...

I am so in love with you.

Patois said...

You're not done with the HOA for HOW long?

Momisodes said...

Facebook is the devil.

That.is.all.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

February you are going to have to through a block party like it's 1999. And then get fined for it. :)

Shelli said...

Are the Subdivision Residents and Property Management Company people anything like Muffia*?



*The Mummy Muffia, a rather strange and alarming breed who feel the need to knock the confidence of other parents in order to reassure themselves that their own offspring are Wonder Children.

A Free Man said...

I'm with you on Facebook and the current state of political 'debate' in the U.S.

Joe said...

Those assholes at Facebook recently suggested that I become friends with the girl that unapologetically sent me spiraling into a bout of depression that left me broken and wishing for death. In the end, I'm a much happier person now, but what the hell was Facebook thinking?

MrsRobbieD said...

In honor of my week long reading of your blog in its completeness, No Im not a lurker and I love your blog, I shall be come a regular.

Tracey from arkansas not barefooted, preggers and married to a cousin either :)

marty said...

I have deliberately not friended some asshole from high school on crackbook and I feel much better for it.

Lynda said...

Crackbook recommends friends to me that aren't family, bloggers, old high school pals, people I may or may not know from school or what have you.

I have no idea why it recommends people I have past relationship with. I don't know who they are!