He's squatting. Do you think he needs to go?
Oh, wait. She just got reeeaaaaally quiet. And she's not moving. You think she's contemplating a dump?
And now it is one year, five months, and four days later and we have four-year-old twins who are toilet-use pros. They tell us when they need to evacuate their nethers. And now, their two-year-old brother is the latest "genius of the john."
Yeah, you heard me right. He's done. He's got it down. He's jiggy wit it! After only seven days (really five days because my ass was too tired to write this any earlier) our J-man is a toilet pro with the best of them. This training-a-singleton-who-has-older-siblings-shit? Awesome.
We again did the half-naked toddler thing for two days (as endorsed by Miss Britt) and the score was as follows:
Pee in potty - more times than I can count
Pee on the carpet - 2
Pee on the ottoman - 1
Pee on his PJs - 1
Poop in the potty - 1/2 + 1/2
Poop on the carpet - 1/2 + 1/2
(Basically, that means that twice he started pooping in the sunroom and finished in the toilet.)
Times Bubba pointed at the poop on the carpet and shouted OOOOOO! That's nasty! - 2
Times I told Bubba to shut it because he pooped on the carpet once, too. - 2
Times my Bissell Spot Bot was used - 4
And there you have it. Now that it's over, what have I learned in the last week of potty training my youngest?
I have learned that it's OK to profusely thank the sweet, baby Jesus, dressed in swaddling clothes, in the manger, for never having to change another stinky diaper until I become a grandmother.
I have learned that older siblings will not help you watch the younger one in training for any signs of needing to go to the bathroom. They will simply point and grimace after the fact, whining about how gross it all is.
I have learned that you can spend quality time with your child in a bathroom.
And finally, I have learned that it's OK to just let go and not stress about it all so much. Because they do get it in the end.
Whew. Thank God that's over.