MamaPop writer Schmutzie did a great post that paralleled select 2009 celebrity news stories to the seven deadly sins.
So I thought, why not equate aspects of my life to said seven sins? Hey, if I'm not going to pick and pick and pick and pick on my psyche until it bleeds all over my off-white carpet, causing me to call Stanley Steemer who will then call the cops because Holy crap, lady! Did you murder somebody in your house? Well then, do you need an ambulance?, who will? Right?
I present to you, the seven deadly sins of moi. Am I working on them? Constantly. Will I conquer them in this lifetime? Probably not completely. I'm a work-in-progress, people.
1. Wrath - I. Have. A temper. It's nasty. The problem (or maybe it's good - I don't know) is that I keep it in. I grind my teeth and get so friggin' pissed that my heart rate takes off like Danica Patrick and the next thing I know, I've held in said wrath for so long that I'm sobbing my eyes out in the minivan, alone, in the darkened garage. OR, I scream and holler. There is no in-between.
2. Greed - I want everybody to love me. All the time. Even when I'm stabby. And if I don't like someone and they don't like me back, it pisses me off. Why? I have no idea. I guess I'm greedy for adoration. Gad, I sound so friggin' shallow.
3. Sloth - I procrastinate until the last-minute and I find the easy way out of everything. Playing with my kids involves me laying on the floor and letting them crawl/wrestle all over me. Hey, I'm horizontal and they're laughing. That's good, right? Right.
4. Pride - I need to hear That's beautiful, Heather! or You're so talented, Heather! or Wonderful writing, Heather! or anything that compliments me and I need to hear it constantly or I begin to think I'm the worst failure ever. It's horrible. I don't understand why I need that constant affirmation. I'm embarrassed by it.
5. Lust - Jensen Ackles. Like I need to say more. It's a rather unhealthy obsession I have here. Not like I'm stalking him or anything. OK, maybe not in the real world, but in dream land? Boy is filing a restraining order on me. Seriously.
6. Envy - The purple shirt I just bought it cute but ZOMFG! Her purple shirt is cuter! And my red Honda Odyssey is clean and neat but HOLY FRIGGIN' CRAP that red Honda Odyssey has built-in DVD players! You see where this is going? My iPhone works perfectly fine, but I want yours. And will stew on that for days. Not healthy.
7. Gluttony - If there is the tiniest scrap of chocolate in the house, I will devour it, without hesitation or thought to my pancreas or insulin levels. I have absolutely no control. Picture a turtleneck-wearing vacuum cleaner.
So, what are your seven deadly sins?