How Little, Tiny Bits Of Foam Found Their Way Into Every Corner And Crevice Of My Home. But I'm Not Bitter.
I'm a masochist. I enjoy making things more difficult than they actually should be. It's a sickness. Case in point? The kids' Valentines they will exchange at school. There are 30 students in the Montessori program meaning each child will take 29 Valentines cards with them. Did I select Princess-/Cars-themed cars?
I found these at Michael's:
Aren't they precious? Foam cut-outs. That look like doily hearts. With purple string. How creative! And I don't even have to do the cutting. Brilliant! Of course, there's 24 per box, not 29. It's like buying ten hot dogs and eight buns. Grrrr...
And here are the cut-outs in all their glory. This looks pretty easy, right? I only have to do 87... 87? Dang. OK.
Um, yeah. None of the doily-looking thingee hearts have completely empty cutouts. Obviously, the Chinese person who manufactured these hates me. Why? I have no idea. I've never done anything to China or the people who populate said country. Now? They can kiss my ass.
Shoot me. Now.
Done. Only 86 more to go...
Yes, Virginia, there is Advil. It exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Advil. It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias.*
Dear God, I'm going to be finding these little foam bits, all over the house, for months. They're as insidious as pine needles. Crickets. Dirty underwear.
And to top it all off, my dear, sweet, over-achieving Miss-Miss decided to immediately write her name on all 29 of her Valentines. At number 24, she did a swan dive off her chair (God-forbid a toddler sit still for five minutes) and landed forehead-first on the hardwood floor. Chaos ensued. Thankfully, the teething duck came to the rescue and instead of a blue-black baseball on the side of her head, we were left with a tiny bump.**
Wake me up when the holiday is over.
* With apologies to Francis Pharcellus Church.
** Photo staged and taken one day after swan dive. Guilt would have ensued had I taken her picture in the midst of tears and pain.