You all remember the story of a Dork named Heather, don't you?
You don't?!? Well, go catch up. I'll wait.
You're back? Great. Let's pick up where we left off.
The world, it seems, was full of Dorks. Heather had united them all, but her story wasn't finished. It seems that the rich and famous had a thing for Dork Queen Heather. Heck, Becks even had her holy image tattooed on his abs:
Posh pretended to be turned on by it, posing with pictures of her BDF and talking about "Dorks' Rights" this and "Heather" that:
But it was all a sham. Because she had Heather frozen in carbonite:
Children everywhere mourned the loss of their Dork leader. Schools set aside whole semesters for teaching Dork history and the noble deeds of Heather:
When Heather was finally freed after being discovered at Jabba's palace, her rescuers discovered only her head had survived the freezing. Not-so-sadly, she had to have a full-body transplant. Once healed, she became a lingerie model:
Posh was even more pissed. Heather then went on to remake The Seven Year Itch:
After the film was released, Heather would roam the streets of New York City, posing over subway grates and lifting her skirts. Needless to say, she was arrested numerous times. With this bad-girl attitude simply adding to her Dork mystique, she became embroiled in a sordid love affair with the world's most famous vampire:
Because as all Dorks know, the Cullens exist. For realz.
The End Again.
Thanks again for Photofunia genius!