26 April 2010

Some Universal Truths About Ghost Hunting

  • When the flashlight turns on? By itself? With no one near it? I will turn into one giant goosebump about to wet its underpants.* And the video camera will have a low battery and will need to be rewound. Seriously.
  • If I come investigate your house and you happen to have a bearded dragon, double check its aquarium after I leave because I may just take it home with me.
  • Crickets that have managed to escape being a meal for the aforementioned bearded dragon are sure to drive you in-frakking-sane with the constant, never-ending, infinite, perpetual, eternal, incalculable... CHIRPING!
  • My stomach will growl, constantly, during EVP sessions when I need to be quiet.
  • Stopping off, before the investigation, for cheap gas station coffee means I'm always last in line** and the owner of said gas station will, in their best urban/Southern redneck/Hindi accent ask me "You're a ghostbuster? Where ya going? Are tha walls bleedin'?" Seriously. Do I have "Ask me stupid shit!" pasted on my forehead?
  • Sometimes it's not about investigating the paranormal. Sometimes it's about reconnecting with your friends and sitting in the dark at 1AM talking about stupid shit.
  • Don't cross the streams. Total protonic reversal.
  • It feels good to be able to give someone, who is grieving, the answers they need.
*Dude, I am not even kidding about the flashlight thing. Believe me, if I could put the video evidence up here, I would, but our client doesn't want anything released. It. Was. AWESOME!

**My team finds it funny to bolt for the door and snicker outside in the relative safety of their cars. Traitors. All of them.

17 comments:

LceeL said...

You REALLY do this? AWESOME!

HEATHER said...

That flashlight thing is A-MAZ-ING!! But I don't blame you, I would probably pee myself too! LOL!

Little Mrs. Jonesss said...

Uh yea. That was possibly some of the most wicked stuff I have witnessed in our 2+ years of doing this!

And we don't mean to leave you hanging with the creepy gas station attendants! You are just too nice and talk to them for a while!

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

I think of you every time we see Ghost Hunters on TV. Totally wish I lived near you and could participate.

The flashlight thing? AWESOME!

Annie said...

I was totally thinking of you when we watched "The Fourth Kind" last night. Wicked-crazy and whacked-out dream producing!

It still amazes me that throughout jr & sr high I wanted to go to Duke to study parapsychology. And, now, you're the one doing it!

sybil law said...

You need a tee shirt that says, "Ask me stupid shit!", on it!
:)

Avitable said...

I hope you show me some of this shit when I see you in SIX DAYS!!!

coalminer said...

the flashlight thing sounds pretty frickin cool. in the mines if your light goes out by itself doesnt mean a spook is nearby, rather - your woman is at home with another man. :/ miner superstitions.

Little Mrs. Jonesss said...

sybil law just gave me an excellent idea! I am totally making a shirt for you that says "Gas station owner BAIT"
Wow, that's kinda long.

MrsRobbieD said...

I liked the stomach WILL growl one...Mine always did during ACT testing in High school, no matter if I ate beforehand or not!

Muskrat said...

This reminds me of that time I... Wait. My life is boring as shit.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

LceeL - I REALLY do this, hon. :)

Other Heather - I sat on the bed and was all "NO WAY!!!! DUDE!!!" Yeah. It was incredible.

Little Mrs. Jonesss - I know you guys don't. ;) I am too nice. Brett needs to start carrying me outta there.

MommyCosm - Here's the link for Everyday Paranormal Pennsylvania (http://www.everydayparanormalpa.com) they cover your area. They may have a circuit team in your state that you could join. E-mail them, woman!

Annie - Dude. That is so cool that they have a parapsychology track. Wish we lived in NC. ;)

Sybil Law - No I don't, 'cause it's already on my fucking forehead! ;)

Avitable - :)

Coal Miner - OK, so according to you, Ty-man was whoppin' it up during said investigation. Hm. Time to bust his ass.

Little Mrs. Jonesss - Don't. You. Dare.

Mrs. Robbie D - Same here. SAT, ACT, any test. Didn't matter.

Muskrat - Your life isn't boring. Wanna join? :)

marty said...

I think I work with ghosts at my accounting office because when I confront people about how things ended up on the tax return they prepared, they act mystified as if there was some other-worldly being inputting erroneous information on their behalf.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Marty - BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Jason, as himself said...

Fascinating! I'm such a skeptic. But, I want to believe.

Joe @ IrrationalDad said...

If my flashlight turned itself on while it was pitch black, and I suspected ghosts nearby.... You would have found me at a 24 hour, brightly lit Walmart 10 miles down the road in 12 seconds FLAT!

Wynn said...

Being a paranormal investigator must be like the coolest job in the world, almost. I mean I couldn't hold onto it because I'm a sissy.