09 June 2010

Three Kids Under Blank

I've heard it over and over the last three years:

Oh my! You have three kids under the age of two/three/four/five?!? You poor mama! I'll bet you're tired/frazzled/clinically insane!

I always wonder, at what point will we no longer be able to use the Three Kids Under the Age of Blank excuse?

And I say, let's ride this puppy as long as we can!

Observe:

Wow! You have three kids under 16? Dang! Three sets of sniveling, whining, walking hormones in need of drivers' licenses. You poor thing.

Holy crap! You have three kids under 20? I'll bet they're all broke, eating out your fridge, and schlepping laundry home every weekend. Honey, I feel your pain.

Dude. You have three kids under 30? And they're all still living at home with college degrees and no jobs and bringing over their girlfriends/boyfriend for "sleepovers?" Wow. I don't have the words.

Yikes! You've got three kids under 40? They're always wanting you to babysit the grandkids, aren't they? Man, I can't imagine what you're going through.

Jesus, three kids under 50 you say? I'll bet they're all buyin' sports cars, having face lifts, boob lifts, and hair replacement surgeries. Do you need a hug?

Man, you've got three kids under 60? And all the grandkids are livin' at your house? And the kids have all spent their inheritances? And they're trying to shove you into a nursing home? Them's the breaks, hon.


Yep, I'm milking this for as long as I can.

13 comments:

Joe @ IrrationalDad said...

I always thought 3 was the defacto standard, but I encourage you to ride that horse as long as you can!

marty said...

I think 3 kids in jail is something to shoot for. One always needs to set goals.

Muskrat said...

at some point, people might think it's cool...like when you get lots of christmas presents from them!

LceeL said...

I have three kids. I will ALWAYS have three kids - I don't care how old they are.

But then - this isn't about me - it's about you.

And your kids.

Kids who are very, very, lucky.

Because YOU are their Mom.

Miss Britt said...

Why is no one impressed that I have two children under 10 spaced five years apart?!?!

GIMME MAH SYMPATHY!

sybil law said...

People have sympathy for me because they meet my husband, the perpetual teenager.
:P

Patois said...

God. Forbid.

A Free Man said...

Dr. O'C feels that she has three boys that act as if they're under 3. I beg to differ.

How's your boy, by the way?

Avitable said...

If only they knew how calmly and expertly you've raised three kids under the age . . . okay, I can't keep that up with a straight face.

metalmom said...

You'd better milk it. Moms get very little sympathy as it is.

Molly's Mom said...

Yeah...I can't milk anything like that, but totally would if I could! Mostly, I think people look at me pitifully - like I can't have more than one child. Oh well!

MrsRobbieD said...

I have two kids the same age yet 6 months apart. Medical marvel..no..2nd marriage blended family BUT saying they are 8 yet not twins is FUN to see the shock value!!

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Heh. Now THERE's A future to look forward to!