01 June 2010

Wounded

When Memorial weekend dawned on Friday, we thought the biggest stumble was that our customer had flipped us off and chosen another contractor.* Ty-man shot into work, fired off a reply, and demanded more information pending a possible protest. So, it's probably going to get us nowhere but at least we'll make the customer sweat a little.

We attempted to put this rejection behind us as the kids made their way north to the Georgia mountains for a grandparent weekend and the Ty-man and I drove south toward Savannah. It was to be a quiet four days and a celebration of the fifteen years we've been married.

It wasn't to be.

We only made it as far as Marietta when Ty's father called to say that J-man had tripped while running in the driveway, fallen nose-first onto a low stone wall, and broken his nose. They were at the hospital in Dahlonega and before I could blink, Ty-man arrowed our car toward our sweet little boy.

So many emotions went through me. Panic, anger, sadness, chaos, calm... it was all there. I was near insanity and, for the first time, experienced the verge of what would end up being a nine-hour long panic attack. I sat on the precipice for those nine hours, looking over, waiting to fall into a full-blown freak-out. But, for me to get there, I had to see my little boy first.

When we got to the hospital in Dahlonega, the terror on our faces must have been proof enough to the attending nurses that we were, in fact, J-man's parents and not some imposters. When I entered the room, there he was, cradled by his grandma. First, let me say this. Ty-man's mother is an amazing woman who managed to drive 30 minutes down a winding mountain road BY HERSELF with a 3-year-old who was bleeding and ready to fall asleep. She kept him awake (worried he might have a concussion), drove down 14 miles of steep, curving roads, kept herself in check, and even put together food for the twins before she left with J-man for the hospital. She's incredible and what happened to J-man? Would have happened regardless of who was there.**

My poor J-man. He was bloody and bruised, his eyes already black and dried blood all around his nose. His nose was all skinned up from hitting the stone wall, but what upset me the most was his right nostril. All of you, right now, take your finger and push up your right nostril, like you're imitating a pig. Now, go look at yourself in a mirror. See how that position has now crinkled your skin on the upper part of your nose, near your eye, and lifts your upper lip? Yep, that's been the J-man since Friday and he'll be like that until surgery is performed to correct it.***

I immediately held him and 15 minutes later, the ambulance arrived to transport us to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta. Why the transfer? Well, the CT scanner in Dahlonega was broken. Plus? The Dahlonega hospital wasn't all that great 16 years ago when Ty-man and I lived there and went to college. Sixteen years later? It's still not that great.

Friday evening was my first ride in an ambulance. They strapped me down to the bed and I held J-man. The medic riding in the back with us eventually saw my reflection in the back door window as I continually wiped the tears and snot from my face. He came around and we talked. He calmed me down and by the time we arrived at CHOA, I was slightly better.

Now, you know an injury is bad when the doctors and nurses at a pediatric hospital, who've seen it all, gasp and back up a step. J-man looked bad. His attending physician even asked to take pictures for training purposes regarding severe nose fractures.

Yeah.

J-man sat through his CT scan without flinching or crying. He held still and didn't move a muscle. Kid has bigger balls than many adults I know. When the results came in, it just confirmed what we already knew, that he has nose and facial (under his right eye) fractures and that our boy will have one heck of a story to tell his own kids. What upset me so much about the results was the fix. We won't see the plastic surgeon until Thursday, nearly a week after his accident, and surgery won't be performed until all the swelling is gone.

See, I'm an instant-fixer. When something or someone is broken, I want it fixed now, Now, NOW! I don't want to wait. And waiting for J-man to have his nose fixed is driving me nuts, because every time he hides his face from someone, every time he looks at his reflection in the mirror, my heart breaks. I just want to play the old game of "stealing" his nose. You know the game. The one when you pretend to steal the child's nose, but it's really your thumb in between your index and middle fingers. But, I don't want to pretend. I want it to be real and I want to trade noses so that he doesn't have to go through this hurt, this pain, the stares from others, and the inevitable questions that follow.

I don't want to be the mother who is emotionally strong, holding his hand through it all. I want to be the mother who can wave my hand and fix everything in the blink of an eye.

*Note: I cannot list the name of said customer here on my site, but suffice it to say that said customer can kiss my pale-white ass and go fuck themselves.

**Are you reading this Betty? I love you. Quit beating yourself up over this. Stop it, or else.

***I don't have any pictures of J-man's injury and I don't intend to take any. As I stated on my Facebook page, I don't want a visual memory of this weekend. I'll take a picture of him when he's out of surgery and recovering.

27 comments:

HEATHER said...

That poor baby! Will keep him in my prayers.

A Free Man said...

So sorry, Heather. There's nothing worse than seeing your little one battered, bruised or broken. I've been there too recently and I don't ever want to be there again. That's the problem with boys, though. They have a tendency to breaking themselves. Hope he heals up soon and the plastic surgery goes well.

Jenn said...

Poor little dude! I think A Free Man is right - this is what we're in for raising little men! Hope he (and you) heal quickly.

You're probably waving more of a magic wand than you know...

Avitable said...

Poor guy!

And is this customer the BIG customer? The be-all end-all customer?

Patois said...

I really wish it had been the customer going into that wall.

So sorry about your poor boy. I hope the surgeon schedules him quickly.

sybil law said...

Poor J -Man!
But yes- it could/ would have happened anywhere. Gilda popped her arm out of socket while at my parents' house, and MAN I can kind of relate to your story. Her injury wasn't near as bad, though.
However, J -Man is lucky to have you and his awesome grandma to help. She did an amazing job, and I know you are, too.

Annie said...

I'm so sorry about J-man. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug and help you through those moments of panic.

Need a place for recovery that's away from the usual? You know you're welcome here... my kids would love some new playmates! And, they are NOT phased by brokenness (3 sets of casts/splints in the last 3 years plus Sophie - let's just asy she's ALWAYS swollen and bruised somewhere) Let me know if you need anything! You're all in our prayers.

Dave2 said...

Being broken is no fun, but kids have an amazing ability to bounce back from things like this. Best wishes to J-man for a speedy recovery!

LceeL said...

Awww, poor kid. But like you said - he'll have quite the story to tell his kids - heck, he'll have quite the story to tell his friends! There's nothing like a good war wound story to raise a kid up in the estimation of his friends.

Julie said...

Oh Heather, I am so sorry! I hope J-man heals quickly! If you need anything, just let me know. I am not too far away.

Denise said...

Sis, I am sooooooo sorry. My heart was breaking as I read this. I started crying like it's my son. It reminded me of the 1st time I saw Douglas covered in blood - and I am with you, there needs to be Instant Fix=It available in 50lb drums for moms of boys. Is that too much to ask? I think not. Hang in sweetie - we all feel you & love you!

Grant said...

New rule - no kid leaves your house unless a) he's at least 21, or b) he's wearing full pads, a football helmet, and pillows strapped on all sides.

Finn said...

Poor babies - all of you! Sending healing thoughts and hope everything resolves as quickly as possible.

I worry more for you than for the J-Man; kids are amazingly resilient. Moms, not so much, at least where their babies are concerned.

Gia's Spot said...

Poor J-Man!
Too bad it wasnt customer's nose, eh?

The Duchess of Wessex said...

What a great grandmother! Thank God for her swift and capable response!

I Cannot even imagine!

Well, I can, but I'd have to go back to 1992, when our then 2-year old tumbled into the edge of the brick fireplace hearth at his sitter's house. It was HORRIBLE. Split eyebrow, blood everywhere. Why wasn't that area child-proofed? Why wasn't he being watched!? Oh, I know the questions all too well!

Then there was the time our oldest, (now 22 and a US Army Ranger deployed in Afghanistan) was 11 months old and went flying past me in his little walker, straight out the kitchen-to-garage door and landed head-first on the concrete garage floor.

Just thinking of those two accidents with my boys makes me cringe and cry again - and like I said, it's been a long, long time!

This is an experience you will never forget and although the wounds will thankfully heal, it will forever change you. No mother is able to watch their child suffer and not be forever changed/wrecked over it. Deep breaths... That's all I can say. You don't know it now, but it will be okay. I promise!

I am so sorry this happened to your sweet boy, and to you/your family!

Sending you healing thoughts!

Much love to you and yours always,

Janet

Miss Britt said...

Ouch. This literally made my chest hurt to read. Poor little guy - and poor you. :-(

And I'm really sorry to hear about the customer! WTF after all this time?!?!

RiverPoet said...

OMG, Heather! You were dancing all around our neck of the woods trying to take care of your boy. Poor little J-Man! I'm SO sorry this happened, but he sounds resilient, and he will have one HECK of a story to tell.

Meanwhile, breathe....

Hugs - D

Muskrat said...

that sucks. i haven't had this experience yet but am sure i will at some point, considering our odds and all.

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

Yikes!! Poor J-man. Poor YOU!!

Not Afraid To Use It said...

OMG Heather. I am so so sorry. What we went through with Little Man's broken nose is nothing compared to the trauma you guys have gone through. I know you don't want to be the strong one or hear how strong you are being but I know you are an amazing mom and that J-man is surround by love. That's what he will remember most. Hugs from us, and you know my shoulder is free if you need to unload.

Karl said...

Ugh, how terrifying. Hoping the J-Man gets better in no time.

Shelli said...

Sorry for poor J-man. Ugh. He'll be right as rain just as soon as those surgeon(s) can do their magic. Give him lots of hugs and whatever he wants at the toy store.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Oh my God! I'm so sorry he's so hurt. I guess it's good that they CAN fix it, right? Silver lining in there somewhere?

:( Poor little baby. These kids are rough on the mamas...

marty said...

Heather, I'm so sorry to learn of your misfortune. But I know you are resilient and will persevere.

I believe at some point there will be blog posts about plastic surgeons with bad breath, bad skin, bad hair weaves, etc. I can't wait for those.

My best to you and your family.

MarkyDsMom said...

my heart and prayers go out to you and your little family - that poor baby! i have a 3 year old that i totally put in your sons place while reading that post and it just ripped my heart out! kids DO however have an unbelievable way of bouncing back from things like this... MOMS... not so much! it'll get better tho

HalalaMama said...

Oh my goodness... I know that this is completely terrifying. I'm so sorry!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Everybody - Thanks for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers! He's much better and still going strong!