Welcome to HeatHer '10!*
(Like that? It's the official HeatHer '10 conference badge. If I had any.)
Here at HeatHer '10, we keep things simple (and we refer to ourselves in the third person):
- Want drink tickets? Are none. If you want a drink, the coconut rum and Coke is in the fridge. Beer's in the door. Help yourself.
- Need swag? I think the kids can put some toys in a garbage bag for you to take home. I'll even throw in leftover scrapbook paper. Some old college physics books?
- Want to try out free products? I'll let you borrow one of my fifty Old Navy t-shirts. I'll even share my deodorant. Pinky-swear.
- Didn't RSVP a party? We'll be down at the neighborhood pool with a sandwich bag of Goldfish. Now THAT'S a party! And you don't even have to agonize over the perfect BlogHer party outfit!
- Lunches? Peanut butter and jelly. And there won't be any political bloggers to sneer at your political party choice when you happen to sit at their table because all the other tables are full. (Yes, that happened to me last year at BlogHer '09. By the way, LIBERTARIANS ARE NOT ANARCHISTS, THANKYOUVERYMUCHLIBERALBLOGGERWITHATTITUDE! *Pant, pant*) Just three kids who will stare at you and ask endlessly why you're here.
- Peanut allergy? The sub sandwiches at the local Publix are pretty good. It isn't a 24 hour NYC deli, but it's cheaper!
- Keynote speaker? Uh, that'd be me hollering at the kids about why it's bad to hit/steal toys/yell. Just sit back and soak up the knowledge I'll convey via a raised voice and bits of spittle. No microphone or stage here!
So let's make HeatHer '10 a huge success! That way, I can justify a badge for HeatHer '11. Heh.
*NOTE: Don't pronounce it "heat her" like it's two separate words. It's Heather! My name! But with a second capital H, because I'm trying to compete with BlogHer and... oh, never mind.