29 November 2010

"Perfect" Timing

Our youngest has impeccable timing. And by impeccable I mean shitty.

Remember? When J-man broke his nose? Ty-man and I were driving to Savannah for our 15th anniversary trip. Now, I know, I know, I'm the worst mother in the world for implying that when he broke his nose we was trying to screw up our trip rather than all of that being just pure chance, which is not what I'm saying at all. Allow me, though, to point out two more instances of his near-psychic ability to sense when something is about to happen and to slam that fork in the road in order to change our direction.

This past summer, I was packing up the kids for dinner at friend Toni's house. Our close sorority sisters were coming with their kids, as well, and it was shaping up to be an evening of catching up and much revelry. As I called to the kids to put on their shoes and load up in the minivan, J-man tore around the corner of the kitchen counter and caught said corner with the top of his head. I suppose he was trying to disprove that electrons repel and actually go through the counter rather than be stopped by it. It didn't work. And instead of going to Toni's house, J-man and I went to the ER (no stitches necessary but OMFG the blood!) while Bubba and Miss-Miss stayed behind with my mother.

Then, there was just this past Thanksgiving Day when I dressed the kids in matching red and green, told the Ty-man that he would wear red or else, and we all got gussied up for our Christmas card picture. We went to the home of Ty-man's brother for a beautiful family meal and gathering. As the turkey digested and the afternoon quieted, the kids wandered outside to explore. After watching them for 15 minutes and realizing they were in a great mood (read: PICTURE TIME!), I quietly exited stage right to retrieve the Ty-man and his brother (a.k.a. our photographer). As I grasped the door handle, J-man screeched. It wasn't a "he stole my toy" screech, it was an "I'm in pain!" screech.

Yeah. My son decided to get into an argument with a rose bush and guess who won?

This is our Christmas card picture:

And this is the J-man's face enlarged:

My sweet little boy is, I admit, a walking accident and five minutes after the whole ordeal, he was ready for his close-up. He was smiling and laughing like nothing had happened. When we walked by the rose bush my brother-in-law asked him, "Did you get into a fight with that rose bush?" J-man answered "Uh-huh. I lost."

Naw, you didn't lose, sweetie. You won. Because you're smiling and that rose bush? Well, it's just dead and ugly until next summer. So, there!

I wonder what next year's picture will look like?


Grant said...

For next year, I'm thinking matching decorative body casts.

Unknown said...

I'm fairly sure that by this time next year, he's going to be singing, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, my two front teeth, my two front teeth."

By golly.

Megan said...

That's classic. Wonder what's next?

sybil law said...

I was J Man as a kid.
And look how well I turned out to be!

Um, sorry...


Kim - Mommycosm said...

You need to invest in full body armor.

Seriously, you can't even tell in the family shot. Really.

I gave up on trying to get a "holiday" shot of my kids and used a fall one from back-to-school complete with big sunflowers. It works.

HalalaMama said...

bwahaha....I've given up on the idea of having a scheduled photo shoot in which the kid doesn't look like he's been mauled by a bear. something always happens.

Avitable said...

That's a great photo, and chicks dig scars, so go J Man!

AnaVar said...

Cute ...and funny photo! I also have one picture with scratched nose when I was little. And it was for some documents!!!

Patois42 said...

I'm thinking next year someone will be wearing a cast, but you'll position everyone just "so" so no one will know.

A Free Man said...

I think I've got two of those. Sigh.