15 March 2011

Weiners vs. Clams*

As all of you, my dear readers know, I have three kids. Irish triplets, if you will. This means they're practically the same age (and two of them are). Of course, the other thing you may remember about my kids is that I have one girl and two boys.

When you have three children of practically the same age with a mix of boys and girls, then you've also got a mix of toys. Thomas the Tank Engine is racing alongside a Strawberry Shortcake RC car. Meanwhile, Barbie and CPT Kirk are discussing warp engines and tutus next to Dora riding atop a Hot Wheels Battle Force 5 Buster. Seriously. This house is a gender-bender of gigantic proportions.

Bubba has spent many days wearing his sister's headband. Miss-Miss has been known to tear up the front yard with a toy bulldozer. And J-man? Well, that boy has run around this place dressed up as Tinker Bell more times than I can count. But? At the same time, they will pop back into their "proper" gender spaces just as quickly.

What's the point of all this rambling? I'm getting there. Simmer down, people. Typically, when a woman is pregnant with her first baby(ies), she receives gender-specific clothes and toys. Girls get pink and princesses while boys are the recipients of blue and baseballs. Why are we doing this to our kids? Why are we limiting our children's toy/clothes/life choices based on what's in between their legs? Now, before some of you get your panties in a wad about You're raising your boys to be drag queens!/Your daughter's going to be a butch construction worker! just wait a minute. I have no idea of my children's futures. I don't know who they will love, what they're favorite clothing will be, or where they'll work. And you know what? I don't care. What I do care about is that they will be happy, loved, and satisfied in their lives.

The great thing about mixing up gender-specific toys for your all-girl/all-boy house is that your children, I think, will end up a bit more well-rounded. When Miss-Miss is confronted with a Thomas the Tank Engine table at Barnes & Noble, she knows the score. She can identify all the trains by name and go on adventures with the little boys playing at the table with her. She's socializing and the little girls standing around not knowing what to do are wondering where their Cinderella dolls are. And when Bubba and J-man arrive at the Livingston home (Mom+Dad+2 little girls) for April spring break in a couple of weeks and find themselves surrounded by a plethora of pink and princesses, then they'll have a blast and even be able to relate to the Livingston daughters when talking about the pain associated with wearing Cinderella's glass slippers (read: clear plastic shoes with light-up heels).

My advice for new parents out there? Just raise your kids. Don't worry that one Matchbox car or that one Barbie doll will mess up your child for life. If your son shows an interest in a pink tutu, let him wear it around the house. If your daughter wants a firetruck, then splurge. Look at it as a way of broadening their horizons and giving them a good dose of empathy and understanding for the opposite sex.



*With a nod to my friend Chip who comes up with the most interesting euphemisms for genitalia. He could write a thesaurus.

11 comments:

sybil law said...

The best kids are always the kids who are comfortable just being themselves. I was a tomboy and I still played Barbies. It really was ideal.

Kim - Mommycosm said...

Clams. Good one. My husband has a t-shirt from a Mexican restaurant group where he used to work. It says "Nice Tacos". We consider it a limited edition shirt because only a few were made before the President nixed the idea, lol.

We have one of each gender and I couldn't agree with you more.

Annie said...

So true... Luke and Sophie are 24 months apart, and know the other's toys just like yours. In fact, Luke used to insist that his toenails be painted! Now, Sophie is a drama queen with a tutu and a bakugan. (Thank you public school buses for the new money drain.)

I wouldn't have it any other way!

Grant said...

With the right weapon in hand, Barbie and be every bit as deadly as GI Joe.

Muskrat said...

I still dress like a little girl at least once a month.

Little Mrs. Jonesss said...

Excellent points! Love the pics too-cuties!!
This is why I had Adeline's room decorated before we knew what she was going to be, and of course she will get to play with the cute little cars you gave her and won't freak because they aren't decked in pink and bling. So thanks for that!

Avitable said...

Muskrat stole my comment.

Patois said...

I'm stuck on weiners and clams.

marty said...

I can speak from experience. I still can't find a bra that fits right.

Deborah said...

It's true. The Muskrat does like to dress like a girl, at least once a month. Remind me some time to tell you the story of when I found a bunch of blond hair in the wastebasket right after we were married, had a heart attack, and then realized he'd only trimmed his wig, not brought home some whore while I was out of town. Wait--OK, that *is* the story. But still.

Not Afraid To Use It said...

You know I agree with you 100%. That's like not teaching your son how to cook because kitchens are for girls. Blech! Great post!