24 August 2007

Top Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn't Parent Without Sleep

And, here is this Friday's top ten:

10. When breastfeeding, you're limited to one cup of coffee per day. That's just enough caffeine to get you through the first 30 minutes of the morning.

9. While staring blankly into space, your two-year-old has colored his shirt, the wall, the carpet, and your sofa, with his crayons.

8. While savoring your one cup of coffee, the cat has costume jewelry wrapped around his neck and is choking.

7. No longer choking, the cat is now eating Cheerios, graham sticks, and raisins.

6. In your half-asleep haze, you've left a gate open and your once clean and neat living room is now a federally-declared disaster area.

5. While you're trying to figure out what day it is, the kids have gone without sunscreen and are now a bright, beet-red.

4. As you longingly stare at your coffee maker, you realize you've fed the kids moldy grapes.

3. While contemplating the softness of your Tempur-Pedic bed, you realize your daughter has been drinking from the same, unrefrigerated cup of milk all day. Diarrhea is soon to follow.

2. It's bath night and you unknowingly chuck both kids into the filled tub, dirty diapers and all.

1. You've fallen asleep during Little Bear and wake up 5 minutes later only to find one child screaming and stuck under the art easel, the second child has a purple tongue from sucking on a crayon remnant, the third child has a leaking poopy diaper, and DFACS is knocking on your door.

Have a great weekend! I'll be napping!

1 comment:

Suz said...

LOL Better you than me, Gunga Din. Babies are for the young and strong.