15 April 2008

Site Meter Silliness

At times, my Site Meter hits make me chuckle. I mean, nothing will ever be able to top the Canadian who found my site through a Google search for "Where is my cat's clitoris?" but lately there have been a few good ones. Allow me to share:

mom confessions “spring break”: Yeah, ummmm, not here. Mom's don't get spring breaks and when we do, it usually involves sleep. Loooooots of sleep.

greenwoods roswell lemon chive: Oh, hell to the yeah. Greenwoods restaurant has some kick-ass lemon chive butter on their pork chops. Heaven! Pure heaven.

crack whore confessionals: Da fook? 'Scuse me? I confess the thoughts from my brain here each and every day. At times, I refer to my morning coffee as crack. But a whore? Never. Unless it involves Sean Connery and lots of chocolate.

i like moms only: Well thank you, sweetie. I like you, too.

Stormtrooper sex: OK, some freak in Denmark wants to see Stormtroopers having sex. Since all Stormtroopers are men, cloned from the same man, this is like a freaky homosexual masturbation/gay porn/incest/sci-fi fetish that I really don't want to get into here. Screwed-up Danes.

a map of the miners forecast in 18 hundreds: The hell? Yeah, I have no clue.

2008 Christian martyrs: There are Christians? Who have died for their religion? This year? We're only in April. Busy people...

Johnny hunt fbcw: Yep, the minister of First Baptist Church of Woodstock is still a prick, in my personal opinion.

zip tie handcuffs: Fab, knock it off already. I KNOW you tie your hookers up with these things, just quit using that search term to get to my friggin' blog!

“coal fields” “west Virginia” growing up: No. Yes. And Yes. Any other questions? By the way, if you're going to capitalize Virginia? Give the west a big W, 'kay? It's a friggin' state, not a region. Geography retard.

cortisone suppositories: OMFG, I've already lived through this once. Let's not remind the CMG of this horror AGAIN!


And by the way, Fab has asked me to come back and co-host his Pointless Drivel Live show, yet again. OK, actually, he didn't ask. Turns out I have incriminating pictures of him from our meet-up in December. Blackmail is such a sweet thang! So, what will this Sunday's show be about? Well, according to Fab: "The sexiest geek this side of the Mississippi joins us for a second time as we discuss who would be better in the sack, Stephen Hawking or Carl Sagan (obviously when he was alive). Also, I may or may nor be wearing pants for much of the show."

Well, I can certainly vouch for the Hawking vs. Sagan debate. Me? The sexiest geek this side of the Mississippi? Hmmmm, not sure 'bout that. But the presence or lack of pants? I'll never tell! Tune in, call in, and we'll have an hour of fun and laughs!



The Ferryman said...

Fun and laughs? Don't promise them fun and laughs. Now they'll expect the show to be good.

RiverPoet said...

Oh boy! You have some interesting search keywords. The most interesting one of mine (recently) has been "i smoke 2 pipe bowls a day."

Then again, your blog is so interesting and varied, it can reel in the most diverse among us. Have you gotten any ghost hunter hits yet?

Did the angry ghost follow you home?

Peace - D

Anonymous said...

Holy crap did this get my "what will the internet do next?" juices flowing. I must check my site stats for that as well.

Just a note about the cat. The answer to "where is my cat's clitoris?" is easy. If a dood's asking that question, I suspect / fear that the thing he's looking for is very near the end of his penis.

we_be_toys said...

You're going to debate who is sexier between Stephen Hawking and Carl Sagan? As they are, right now, or at their prime? Because if its right now, there isn't going to be much boot knocking going on - ole Steve can't move anything, and Carl bought the farm ages ago. If we can choose the time as well as the person, definitely Stephen Hawking - he was a wild man in his youth!

That Chick Over There said...

I love that shit.

Someone found me searching for "Erin Moran faking an orgasm"

Yeah. I knew that one would take like, thirty seconds.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Fab - Maybe "gore and sadness?" Is that better?

Momma - Someone did a search for the leaders of TAPS and found my site once, but that's been it.

Functionally Retodded - Oh, dear God, I didn't need to know that.

We_Be_Toys - I agree. Carl would just talk you to death.

Chick Over There - HA!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

I think my recent fav on mine was "tell your boss about husband's job loss". Ah. To be a fly on the wall during that conversation.

Miss Britt said...

"Stormtrooper sex: OK, some freak in Denmark wants to see Stormtroopers having sex. Since all Stormtroopers are men, cloned from the same man, this is like a freaky homosexual masturbation/gay porn/incest/sci-fi fetish that I really don't want to get into here. Screwed-up Danes."

Um, why is it that you know this?

And.. are you aware that not everyone (coughMOSTpeoplecough) does?

Narcoleptic said...

"crack whore confessionals" - that got me thinking.
Appropriate name for my blog, though I seem no where closer to crack than I am to Virginia, but the crappy people around make me behave like I live on it.

Unknown said...

Hmmmmm...where is my cat's clitoris, mom confessions, lemon chive butter, crack whore confessionals, i like moms only, Stormtrooper sex, Mike Hunt (edited for literary purposes), zip tie handcuffs, cortisone suppositories? I think there's a good, dirty short story in there somewhere. ;-)

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

NATUI - No doubt! Too funny!

Britt - Yes, I'm completely aware that I'm a gigantic geek who has thought about Stormtrooper porn. Scary, huh?

Narcoleptic - Ha! You should so change the name of your blog! :-)

Teri - Yeah, but who has the energy to write it? Wait, I know, Chris! Am I right? :-)