27 April 2009

Have EMF Meter, Will Travel

There are certain truths regarding a four-hour drive to a paranormal investigation with your fellow ghost-bustin' peeps:
  • Investigation stories will abound. We will all tell our creepiest. Mine will be less-than stellar.
  • If said investigation is twenty minutes outside Savannah? Then said G-Busters will eat at a purportedly haunted restaurant. Moon River Brewing Company, anyone?
  • And if we're in Savannah for a quick dinner? Then we must get tweaked out on sugar before the investigation, must'nt we?
  • Always make sure you text your husband the address of the in-the-boonies location you're driving to just in case your "clients" are "Jason Voorhees wanna-bes!"
  • Relief inevitably follows when you realize your clients aren't serial killers. But relief quickly flies out the window when you begin to understand that they are orb-chasers.
  • Setting up equipment, wiring up cameras.... American White Shepherd! Sweet puppy! Come, on! Does dat wittle baby wanna pway ball? Huh? Come on! Do you wanna come home wif me? Yes you do! Yes you do! Yes... oh, wait. We're here to investigate? Not play with the client's dog? Crap.
  • If the client has two buildings to investigate on the property? And offer their golf cart for you to use to move between the two? Paranormal investigators are guaranteed to act like idiots while driving it. And giggle a lot.
  • Driving four hours one way with no visible results during the investigation (read: a shadow doesn't jump out and shout BOO!) is sure to make ghost busters grumpy.
  • 37 years old + Eddie Bauer sleeping bag + client's hardwood floor = minimal sleep and sore muscles
  • When finding a breakfast location before hitting the road, always remember that Waffle House trumps McDonald's. Every. Time.
  • And finally it's good to note that a large Waffle House coffee and tons of cheesy 80s hits on the XM 80s station will keep awake an exhausted Heather during the return four hour drive home.
But the best part of the investigation? Getting home. To sweet kids. A smiling husband. A Tempur-Pedic bed. And a three-hour HOA Board meeting.

Yeah. More to follow on that one later...


sybil law said...

A 3 hour HOA meeting?!!! Oh crap - who dared to plant the orange petunias?!!!
(Glad you're home, safe and sound. :)

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

I know that this was supposed to be about the ghost hunting, but damn, 3 hour HOA meeting?! We meet once a quarter and it lasts maybe 2 hours - what the heck is going on in your neighborhood!?

My mom and I finally talked about the haunted house we lived in when I was young. For real - we hadn't spoken a word about it since moving out when I was about 10. Too bad it burnt down, I'd have you all come investigate. You definitely wouldn't have experienced something there. Although those Yankee ghosts may not have been happy to find y'all in there;)

Expat No. 3699 said...

The HOA meeting sounds scarier than ghosts!

That One said...

Your ghost hunting adventures always sound like so much fun! I would've totally made the client's dog curl up on the foot of my sleeping bag at night.

Jessica said...


not of the HOA meeting though.

Gypsy said...

Have I mentioned you have, like, the coolest hobby ever?

jayna said...

You were in Savannah! And I'm not even there to have come bothered you!! Awww, man!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Sybil - BWHA! Orange petunias! That would be me. :)

MommyCosm - Wow. Once a quarter?!? I'm very jealous now.

Employee No. 3699 - Believe me, it was!

Tuli - I thought about it. I actually wanted to lay on top of him. Much more comfy than the wood floor!

JessX - Yeah. Me neither.

Gypsy - Me? You're the sex toy tester!!!!! Somehow, I need to find a way to combine the two. :)

Jayna - Yeah. I know. You need to move back NOW!!!!

Avitable said...

Damn orb chasers.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Avitable - Totally.

RiverPoet said...

Heather - take a look at the picture I sent you. I want your expert opinion.

I know she was here. Peace - D

Patois42 said...

It actually all sounded fun until you mentioned the three-hour HOA meeting.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

RiverPoet - She was, hon. She was.

Patois - Oh, it was fun. Until the meeting.