Slouching Towards 40*

37.

There's just something unsettling about this number of mine, this number that will be attached to me for the next year like toddler snot stuck to my corduroys. I like symmetry and in being a big fan of even numbers, 37 is so blatantly odd that it's prime. And that freaks me out.

And it's also the first number that the Ty-man has expressed trepidation over regarding his age. And, I've got to tell you, when the Ty-man gets squirrely, I get nervous.

Up to now, the numbers representing my age have never given me pause. There's been the usual I'm 16! Let's total the car! I'm 18! Let's elect a President! I'm 21! Let's get trashed! Other than those milestones, I'm just typically Meh about the whole thing. It's just a number, for Chrissakes. Right?

RIGHT?!?

But this number? Is turning my muscles into whimpy pieces of shit that now take three days to recover from over-exertion rather than two. It's a number that's stealing IQ points one by one. It's a number that's making me frown at teenagers and nod at my mother. And it's a number that until a few days ago was just a number and not an age.

Most of my adult years, I've walked around thinking, Dude, there's no way I'm 22/30/37. I remember 22/30/37-year-olds when I was a kid and they didn't act the way I'm acting now. They acted like grown-ups. I'm not a grown-up! and I wonder where the heck the last 37 years have gone. Seriously! Somebody tell me that the 1972 on my birth certificate is just a joke because it doesn't feel like it's been that long to me. And I look at the average life-expectancy for American women and have a hard time believing that in just three short years, I will be at the half-way mark.

Wow.

Now that I've totally depressed myself, I realize that with these 37 years has come knowledge. I've learned from my vast mistakes. I've learned that children require infinite quantities of patience. I've learned that I'm not perfect, never will be, and need to get over it. I've learned that the universe doesn't revolve around me (and that's a good thing!).

And I've learned about love. In it's many forms. And that that is more important than anything else.

So, Happy Birthday To Me! Here's to more wisdom, more fun, more patience, and less acting like my age!

Care to join?

*Yes, I know. There's a blog that uses this as it's title. I can't help it if she saw into the future and stole the title of this post for her blog. Some people...