Great Things Come In Small Packages

So, I've got this friend Teri, right? You remember her. She's my good friend who has read this blog from the beginning and deals with torture of the High School Musical persuasion. She's five feet tall, has beautiful blonde hair, and weighs 100 pounds when wet. She's just the cutest, sweetest thang and I'd keep her in my pocket if I could!* But the best thing about Teri? She belches. As in knock you off your barstool, slick your hair back and turn it gray belches that will leave your eardrums vibrating.

And? She loves me so much that she recorded a couple of her belches and e-mailed them to me. I laughed so hard that my MacBook is now covered in coffee and snot. Since Blogger won't allow the uploading of audio files, I've converted the "belch du jour" into a video file with one of my favorite pictures of her. Enjoy!



*She is gonna kick my ass for that. Actually, she's gonna kick my ass for this whole post.

Post 100

Today is a milestone. Today is my 100th post. Wow. I had no idea I would make it this far. I have to admit that when I began this venture back on August 13th, I didn't know if I'd stick with it. I was horrible about keeping a diary or a journal as a youth. Hell, I've tried numerous times to begin a mother's journal for the kids to read someday when they're older, but I just fail miserably after a few days. I suppose this blog is my contribution to the ages. I feel sorry for the alien race who discovers this planet long after we're all gone. They discover a Google server and all they can pull off it is this blog. Sorry humanity - we're f**ked!

Anyhoo. The picture above is of my girlfriend, ho, bee-otch Teri, hanging with me during Thanksgiving two years ago. Teri is being honored in my 100th post because she has been reading this blog since the beginning. She left my very first comment and is a loyal reader. She'll call me from work, snorting with laughter because of something I've written or she'll just say "Bee-otch! What are you thinking?" and I can tell she's shaking her head.

Teri is a total pistol, she bleeds blue and orange Florida Gator blood, she was (and will be someday soon) the best dog mom, and she's a wonderful friend. She's the sister I never had and the sister my mother is probably happy about not birthing because, oh, the trouble we could have caused had we grown up together!

I first met Teri in February, 1998. She came to work at ExecuTrain as a fellow technical writer and office mate. She met me shortly after the death of my father and just before the death of my uncle, a short two week time period that was a whirlwind for me. She became my great friend during the darkest period in my life. During this time, I was at my bitchiest, saddest, and I found myself extremely unhappy. Somehow, she saw something good and we became fast friends. We both love the color purple, Harley Davidson motorcycles, horror movies, snorting when we laugh, and making fun of her freaky ex. Hey, we all need hobbies.

So this post, Teri, is dedicated to you. Thanks for being there for me. Thanks for reading and making me laugh. Thanks for being my friend! Love you, man! Sniff, sniff, wipe away tear. Aw, f**k it! Pass me a beer, bee-otch!
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And, also in honor of the 100th post, I did a Google image search for 100. I give you the Messier 100 spiral galaxy.

Friend Torture Is Fun!

What do I do when I feel a little under the weather? Or when I'm bored? Ah, I torture my friend, Teri, needlessly.

You see, I discovered last week that the twins love music from High School Musical 2. Well, I think they do. We were listening to the XM Kids station and the above song was playing, and they were just be-bopping along to the music. So, I downloaded the soundtracks from both movies.

Now, I must say, I'm probably the only person on the planet, who doesn't have teenagers, who can tell you what High School Musicals 1 and 2 were about. This is because of Ty-man's cousin, Jennifer. See, after her visit this past summer, I wanted to feel more in-touch with her generation. So, I TiVo'ed both movies, watched them (it took me two weeks to get through them without gagging, pausing, and going back to a re-run of Supernatural), and promptly gouged out my eyes. Cute, but so not my generation. I will say this, though, the tunes are catchy and Disney knows it's kids.

So, when I'm not entertaining the twins, I'm randomly calling Teri at home or at work, cranking this song up on the computer, and torturing her needlessly. Surprisingly enough, the house hasn't been firebombed. Love you, man!

Now, ready to stick hot pokers in your ears, yet? Come on, pussy, push that play button and be a man/woman! Listen already!