There is one extremely embarrassing moment in any marriage that cannot be avoided. A defining millisecond that makes you just want to curl up in your ratty, coffee-stained terry cloth robe, under your bedsheets that haven't been changed in three weeks, behind your well-worn copy of Dune and never come out.
Nope. It's not when you fart in front of your husband.
Nope. It's not when he walks in while you're making your I need more fiber! face.
And nope. It's not even when he walks in while you're changing out your chartreuse flamethrower*.
It's when he breezes through the bathroom and spots the bleach/hair remover cream on your upper lip.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that was the moment yesterday when I wanted desperately to crawl into a hole and die. To admit that I have unwanted facial hair and that I have to deal with it on a regular basis is a conversation I have avoided for almost 21 years. And to "get caught in the act" by the Ty-man? Oy.
In order to avoid any future embarrassment, I have decided to just damn the torpedoes, damn the secrets, and damn that Sally Hansen bitch to Hell and grow myself some honest-to-Tom Selleck upper lip pubes.
I'm trying to decide on my new look. What do you think?
I could just let it grow however it wants to grow:
Get something a bit more manicured:
Then there's the whole handlebar thing:
And let's not forget the classic 20th century European dictator look which may get me on Avitable's masthead:
And speaking of Adam:
What do you guys think?
*Berkeley Breathed? Bloom County? Opus and the gang? Never mind.
09 February 2009
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18 comments:
That's funny, I also started to get a mustache after my 37th b-day.
Seriously, what you have now is fine, don't change.
I feel ya, sistah!
I've got a ladystache developing over here that I'm gonna have to deal with REAL soon.
I guess there's something really good about having been a blond-haired child. The hair on my arms and facial area is pale, pale, pale. But every now and then, I feel a giant hair that has sprouted overnight from under my chin. The first time that happened, hubby and I were standing outside and he said, "Oh, let me get that dog hair that's hanging on you...uh...it's attached."
I could have died. So I feel for you!
Will there be a new blog? CMG's Mustache? ;-)
Peace - D
Hahahahaha
I am partial to the handlebars, myself. or maybe the Tom Selleck.
:P
I can't help but wonder if Ty man has facial hair cause that could be like teenagers with braces if y'all get tangled up in a passionate kiss OUCH!
Um, bad idea. It looks okay on Avitable, but not so much on you.
To me, that's just a sign of true love. Sounds like you got yourself a keeper there.
I would go for any one but the Dirty Sanchez mustache myself. lol
LeSombre - Thanks, hon. Thankfully, if I chose to not maintain it, you would look at me and think Wow. The lighting in here is bad. Either that or her upper lip has dirt on it. I just obsess.
Tuli - I've got some hair removal cream I'll loan you! :)
RiverPoet - I was blonde. Then I hit the teenage years and it all went downhill from there. :)
Sybil Law - Seriously. Wouldn't a Tom Selleck mustache be awesome? :)
Trukindog - HA! That is a distinct possibility.
Father Muskrat - Yeah. I thought as much.
NATUI - He is a keeper. I mean, heck, he watched a human being (three, in fact!) come out of my vagina. He really must love me!
Giggle Pixie - HA!
Ah, you got your man. Time to let yourself go. LOL
Wait until you hit menopause, CMG!! After I started going through menopause I developed so much hair that I swear if I let it grow I could rival Abe Lincoln!
Uh...yeah. I'm getting mine taken care of tomorrow at my local salon. If I had the extra money, I'd SO be getting laser hair removal!
I'm thinking the natural look is best.
LOL!
I like the handlebar one. It's a keeper.
I don't know nothin' about no lady mustaches, but I do know a thing or two about Bloom County - best comic strip ever!
MetalMom - HA! I should!
MtnAngelWV - Oh, Lord. Don't remind me!
Molly's Mom - I don't think I could handle the wax thing. Ouch!
Patois - Me, too.
Ashlie - It is pretty special!
A Free Man - It certainly was!
I've always wondered how I'd handle this if I ever get married. I can only hope that I keep it a secret as long as you have!
I like the handle bar look, btw. It's very Val Kilmer in Tombstone.
The shame!!!!!!!!
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